When I got my license and my first sports car, it quickly became apparent to me how the Cop cars silhouette looked and I soon could spot the headlights of the Crown Vics from afar. With the fat light bars on top it only took a brief millisecond to notice and apply the brakes. With most other Crown Vic owners well asleep by nightfall caked in loads of BenGay it was pretty safe to say that if you noticed the headlights then you needed to check your speed. As time passed cops started getting slimmer light bars (not waists) and newer and various makes of cars such as the Charger and Caprice. Decked out with thousands of dollars of your forced taxes they were working to get incognito. Then the new Caprice arrived. And well… they blew it.
The 2014 Caprice is only being sold to Law Enforcement and while some of you would get angry as why we couldn’t also get our hands on the 355hp Thunderhipsbeaconator as it actually is a great sedan, think of it this way. I was in Dallas last week when I saw a new all silver Caprice following a car around. I thought to myself that these were not general public cars, and it wasn’t as it was an undercover car that can only be driven by Law Enforcement!!! This is the best thing to happen to criminals since donuts. A car trying to be stealthy has the body lines of no other car available so that all you have to do is be a gearhead and you can instantly recognize that a city paid gun slinger is on your 6 and watching your every move. And since the headlights are also different means that at night you simply just need to study the look of them to know that you are looking at a local Smokey.
So if you sell pot then take a moment to learn a 2014 Caprice so that when you see one parked outside it is evident that you are being watched. If you are smuggling 72oz BigGulperGlasses into the NYC then study the headlight characteristics of the Chevy Caprice. If you are drag racing your mom’s Ford Flex then make sure you don’t see a car that looks like no others driving around in the vicinity. This is just a blessing for those of us that hate for the police to get an upper hand on the daily speeders. And don’t give me this bullshit about how they keep us safe and help fight street racing and blah blah blah because I seriously do not give a shit about your opinion. Thank you for this breath of fresh air.